Petrol doesn't really exist, you know. It's all a big con.

Years ago, they figured out how to make cars run on air. Let's face it, when did you last actually SEE petrol? You go to the petrol station, put the pump in the tank, and stop when the dial reaches the amount you need. Or rather, the amount you think you need, because you don't actually see it go in.

You're paying for nothing, my friends. It's all a con. They've got us. If we don't buy petrol, the automatic cut-outs they've secretly fitted to our engines will kick in, and we'll be stranded. "Oh dear, we've run out of gas," we'll say. (Well, if we're American, that's what we'll say.)

But we haven't run out of gas. It's Big Brother.

Next week - the Big Curry Theory.